just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
