My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
