I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
