That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
