It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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