For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
My feet surprised me
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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