Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
