i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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