You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
