YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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