i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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