Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize