She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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