OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Randomize
