Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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