porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
