I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
