sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize