K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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