..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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