I wanna passion pit in your ass
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
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