why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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