I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
How naked do you want me to be?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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