also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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