I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize
