the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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