every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
