I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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