How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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