So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
