I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
