But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
This house was built for laser tag.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
