i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
