I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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