I CAN MOONWALK!
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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