the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i was born a porn star she said
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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