well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize