quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
