But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
