Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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