ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
