something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
