you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
