i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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