Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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