I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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