In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
just found out that she named her cat after me.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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