Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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