They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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