I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
