Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
