No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
