You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize