to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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