I'm so fucking centered right now
he shaved USA in his pubs
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
