i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
