I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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