this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
they're like a gay fantastic four
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
